The Whole SELF Lifestyle™ workbook offers a small taste of the Whole SELF Lifestyle™ Method, our four-step process to create long-term fulfillment as a busy working parent.
The Whole SELF Lifestyle™ | The Philosophy
Our mission is to trigger a cultural shift out of survival mode toward the Whole SELF Lifestyle™:
As working parents, we’re juggling many different roles every day: parent, spouse, professional, household manager, friend, neighbor, son/daughter, sibling, runner, artist, or whatever else is important to each of us. Trying to move back-and-forth between all of these parts of ourselves simultaneously and constantly all day long can deplete our energy and make us feel fractured and stretched thin. My goal is to help working parents integrate all of these different parts they play (I call them "systems") into one functioning whole so they can show up as their whole selves - their best selves - in every situation.
Becoming a parent has a way of shattering everything we thought we knew about ourselves. Our identity goes through a transformation, a deepening. We let go of old parts of ourselves. We take on new roles in our relationships and our lives. We start to understand ourselves in different ways. We’re faced with all sorts of new circumstances, which require new skills and perspectives to work through. We try to integrate who we used to be with who we are becoming. But so many working parents are too busy to really explore this shifting identity in any useful way. We are susceptible to outside influences. Our sense of self is constantly shifting, and isn’t understood deeply enough to guide our choices, behavior or beliefs. We rely almost exclusively on experts and “gurus” and opinions of friends and family, which results in losing trust to do what’s best for ourselves, their families, and our future. This is what contributes to that lack of control over our lives. My goal is to help working parents go through a process of self-discovery that honors who they are so they can approach every situation they encounter with a solid sense of self, and the peace of mind that the choices they make are what’s right for them.
Creating a fulfilling life not a destination. It’s not an outcome. It’s not something to achieve. It’s a practice. It’s an ongoing discipline. It’s a way of being in the world. It will fluctuate. Some days we're better at it than others. But as long as we get clear about who we really are, and keep our intentions in the front of our mind, all of the demands of our daily lives won’t pull us off track as easily. And when we do get pulled off track, we can course-correct quickly. The Whole SELF Lifestyle™ is a way of exploring our old, unconscious patterns of behavior, understanding them on a deeper level, and making healthier choices going forward - without the judgment. It’s a way to up-level the baseline of our thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, choices, actions, behaviors, and experiences. Over time, we gradually improve our lives in every area. My goal is to help working parents replace the constant searching for answers outside of themselves, with a reliable and repeatable framework that will support them in discovering the right answers, for them, in this season of their lives so they can finally enjoy their lives.
* SELF is also an acronym we use for the Whole SELF Lifestyle™ Method, our four-step process to put the Whole SELF Lifestyle™ into practice... to make self-discovery and fulfillment attainable, even with all of the competing demands on your time, energy and attention.
The Whole SELF Lifestyle™ Method
Our signature four-step process to help busy working parents eradicate burnout so they can finally start enjoying these precious years of their life.
(S) SYSTEM INVENTORY: Our lives are made up of a complex series of systems (a group of interacting entities that form a unified whole). The more efficient each system is, and the more they’re designed to operate in congruence with each other, the happier and healthier we feel in our lives – the more WHOLE we are. The first step of the Whole SELF Lifestyle™ framework is to complete an inventory of the different systems that are operating in your life right now.
(E) EVALUATE: Once you have identified the different systems that are currently active in your life, it’s time to evaluate each one to see what’s working for you, and what isn’t. You also evaluate how all of the systems are working together. You’ll also imagine what your life could look like instead – your ideal. Once you’ve analyzed these systems, and how things are working together, then you can identify what needs to happen to get from where you currently are, to where you want to go.
(L) LIST OF SOLUTIONS: The first two steps of the Whole SELF Lifestyle™ framework provide clarity and a roadmap for change for you. From there, you’re in a position to brainstorm a list of areas you want to improve to make the biggest impact in your life (triage). This is when it’s helpful to do research, listen to podcasts, read books, get advice, seek therapy if needed, etc. Just In Time Learning (vs. Just In Case Learning) helps you leverage the information available to you without being overwhelmed.
(F) FAMILIARIZE: Once you have experimented in real-time with new solutions (habits, routines, insights, etc.), then you will have the ability to make the best of those actions and beliefs a part of who you are. In this step, you work on establishing a solid support system to keep you accountable and to offer encouragement and feedback as you implement new habits. You’ll continue to practice these things, until you get to the level of “unconscious competency,” where you no longer need totry to do these things. Over time, you’ll integrate your new habits and beliefs into your overall lifestyle.
Self-discovery happens, and can only happen, if you’ve gone through all four of these steps. Most people today spend all of their time in Step 3, ignoring Steps 1, 2, and 4. This contributes to those feelings of overwhelm, failure, and guilt since they’re just consuming a ton of information without any strategy or direction. Once you know the Whole SELF Lifestyle™ Method, you can repeat these steps whenever you’re feeling burned out, when a big life shift happens, or if you’re just feeling unhappy and craving an upgrade of the quality of your life.